Dear Karson - Happy Nine Months!

Dear Karson,

 

Nine months can seem like an eternity. Ask anyone who has ever been pregnant. When I carried you, I was pretty sure that nine months lasted 20 years. Not because you were a task to carry, in fact we had a very healthy and happy pregnancy. But rather because the anticipation of meeting you and holding you made it seem to drag on forever. 

 

Then you finally arrived, and my life changed forever. Over the last nine months I've watched you grow and change in so many ways. Currently you're learning new sounds, and trying to add a few words to your vocabulary. We're pretty sure "juice" is on the tip of your tongue. You think I'm the queen of the Earth, or at least of your world, and if I'm in sight, you prefer that we hang out together. I'm flattered by it, and agree with you that we should spend as much time playing together as possible. So we do.

 

Daddy is your comedian. When he makes certain faces or sounds, he can send you in to a laughing fit that ends with all of us rolling. You don't even have to be near him, and if you hear him laughing...you'll join right in!

 

Speaking of rolling, that's still you're preferred mode of transport. You're sooo close to crawling, but can't quite get yourself moving forward. Between the rolling and the scooting backward, you still get everywhere you want to go...including these places...

 

 

 

You clap, giggle at Pat-a-cake, and love peek-a-boo. You wave at times, but you haven't quite nailed when a wave makes sense. Most recently you waved bye bye to your toy when I told you it was time to put it down. Then again...maybe you DO understand waving; you are just selective in who deserves a wave?

 

Bath time and brushing your teeth are super fun for you, and you even celebrate diaper changes by kicking vigorously and patting the mirror. You've also discovered how to turn the light off when we're done.

 

You are such a big boy when it comes to playing with others, or letting other people take care of you. The day care loves you, and at church we can take you to the nursery without any tears. When I pick you up you are happily playing away. It is during these times when I see you differently. I see that you are not a baby any more. You are becoming a little boy. A wonderful, loving, sweet little boy. As we speak, I am starting to think about plans for your first birthday. THAT seems hard to believe. But we will quickly zoom through your first Thanksgiving and Christmas, and February will be here before we know it. I find myself wanting to cling to every second and every memory...but also excited about what each new day with you brings. 

 

So as I mentioned...nine months can seem like a second.

Dear Karson - I love you. No, seriously.

This one will be a bit somber. But hang with me.

I read a blog recently that made me cry. .:Don't click that link unless you, too, want to cry:.

I read blogs during lunch. Sometimes I post my own entry, more often I read those of other people. I enjoy reading about growing kiddos, seeing pictures, hearing mothers gush about their babies. I read some that aren't about babies too. Home improvement, crafts, etc.

But Wednesday I stumbled on to a post about trying to understand why bad things happen. And it linked up with several heart wrenching stories about loss, illness, suffering, infertility and heartbreak. I knew I shouldn't keep reading, but I couldn't stop. I was drawn in by the emotions pouring off the screen of these hurting mamas. Soon, I was flat out bawling at my desk. Warm tears literally puddled by my keyboard.

This happened not long after I posted an entry about you sleeping through the night for the first time. Suddenly my post seemed so trivial. Their stories were so raw, so real. I wanted to go home and hold you immediately. They reminded me that I do not want to ever take you for granted. A fact which I already knew.

I realize my updates on here are about things like how long you slept, how you play, or how tired I am. Soon it will morph in to your favorite toys, new physical milestones, or whether or not you like sweet potatoes. But I also realize how absolutely fortunate I am that I can revel in the mundane. I'm eternally grateful that when it comes to you, I have the freedom and the luxury to spend time thinking about what you will wear today, how many diapers you have dirtied, and whether you went 3 or 4 hours in between feedings.

The fact that I babble endlessly about these trivial matters does not for one second mean that I don't fully appreciate what a miracle and a blessing you are, and how fortunate we are to have you in our lives. And I hope that appreciation comes across to the readers.

More importantly, I hope that appreciation and love comes across to YOU. I pray that your not quite two month old heart can already feel the love and devotion felt for you when you are in my arms. I hope that when you're 1, 6, 14, 25, 39, and 55 that you will always be sure of one thing...no matter what else is going on in your life...you are absolutely, endlessly, and unconditionally loved by your mama.

Dear Karson - It's almost time!

Dear Karson,

It's almost time!  I'll admit I'm a bit speechless.  I would love to have the perfect words to say to express all of the emotions coursing through me right now, but I'm not sure adequate ones exist.

Aside from feeling excitement, anticipation, nervousness, impatience, and many many other things, I somehow also feel at peace.

I've never looked forward to anything more than I'm looking forward to becoming your mama.  So aside from the feelings above, I also feel ready.  Not ready for seemingly endless sleepless nights.  Not ready for the fear that we'll somehow be really bad at this.  Not ready for the intimidating fact that very soon your every need will be dependant upon us.  But ready nonetheless.  Ready to meet you.  To know you.  And to start our journey together.

My prayers for you have been plentiful.  Some are special, some are silly.  I started praying for you before I even met your daddy.  I knew someday you would be here, and I prayed that God would have a special plan for you.  I prayed for your timing once we were ready to have kids.  And once you were "real", I've prayed for your health, your security, your protection, and a safe, uneventful entry in to this world.  I also pray that you'll be a happy healthy little boy who grows up to be a successful, loving, kind hearted, Christian adult.  I've prayed for talents, for intelligence, for a sense of humor and good looks, (I told you some were silly!)  I even pray for your future wife.  If she's already out there somewhere, or if she's just a plan in her parents mind, I pray that she grows up in a loving Christian home and that you each live your lives in a way that will some day make each other proud.  Sounds a bit excessive, I know.  But I can't help but want the best for you.

Now as I'm sitting in the hospital, listening to your heartbeat, we've come to the end of the pregnancy.  I will dearly miss feeling your sweet kicks, punches and rolls.  But those special moments will be replaced with seeing your smile, memorizing your face, hearing your laugh, and listening in as you find your voice.  There will be first falls, first steps, first bruises.  First friends, first loves, and first heartbreaks.  First cars, first jobs, first homes.  A whole lifetime of firsts lies ahead of you. 

But for now, let's focus on a few special ones that are in both of our near futures.  I look forward to seeing and holding you for the first time. 

Not much longer now.  See you very very soon!

Love - Mama

Dear Karson - Your room is ready!

Dear Karson,

Your room is ready!  Your daddy and I are proud to present to you what we hope you will find to be a fun, loving, and welcoming environment. 

In it, you will see little bits and pieces of lots of family, friends, and other loved ones.  The crib and bedding were picked out with lots of thought and love by your daddy and me.  The rocker and ottoman where we will spend lots of time napping and reading came from Nana and Papaw.  The mattress from Grandma and Grandad.  The mobile and airplane night light from Mima and Mipa.  The crib light from Uncle Kevin and Aunt Auburn.  The coat/hat rack was made by Pop.  Your closet and drawers are also stuffed with clothes, diapers, wipes, bath supplies, blankets, and other items from your Grandparents, Great Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, other relatives, and friends of your mama and daddy from school, work, and church.  In short, there have been a lot of people who helped us celebrate and prepare for your arrival.  You are truly blessed and loved, and I pray that we help you feel that love instantly.





Your bed!  We hope you'll love the zooming airplanes!

   


The changing table.  A dresser that used to belong to my grandparents, and a propeller from a WWII target drone.

 




The "fun" corner!

  


A very special item made by Pop. 

 




Books we can't wait to read with you!

  


A warm comfy bed awaiting your arrival!

 



The photo wall.  We can't wait to replace these with pictures that have YOU in them!

 

Welcome home!

Love - Mama

Dear Karson - Welcome to the 3rd Trimester!

Dear Karson,

It's me, your mama.  I wanted to congratulate you on reaching a big milestone!  As of today (or last Tuesday depending on who you ask, but whatever), we have officially reached the third trimester.  Great teamwork!   

For me, it's been a pleasure!  Carrying you has not been a burden, or an inconvenience.  It has been a joy!  Knowing how well you've been doing so far has been such a relief to your daddy and me.  We both love the moments when we feel your sweet kicks and rolls.  And I will never get tired of hearing your heartbeat at the doctor's office.

We have been busy getting ready for you.  You should see your daddy putting together the planes that we plan to hang from your ceiling.  He is so careful and slow, wanting every piece to fit together perfectly.  That's nearly impossible since we only paid $2 per plane - but that doesn't stop him from trying!  We've also made progress on your nursery, and I can't wait for you to see it!  I hope you'll find it a cozy and fun place to call home.

We spent the last weekend with my family, and as we played with your cousins, I couldn't help but think of how exciting it will be when you're with us too!  You have a lot of family across the miles (on both sides) who are looking forward to meeting you!

This week we are decorating for Christmas.  It will be our last one without kids!  That's hard to believe.  Even though you won't be here physically yet, you're with us in spirit.  We've ordered a special Christmas ornament to always remind us that in 2010, you were on the way!

More to come soon. 

Love - Mama